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A Playlet About the Cancellation of the Tropical Smoothie Café Frisco Bowl

Sonny Dykes: “Boys, I have some bad news. Because of all the COVID going around the team, we’ve had to pull out of the Tropical Smoothie Café Frisco Bowl, and they’ve canceled it. I’m really sorry about this.”

Ulysses Bentley IV: [raises hand]

Sonny Dykes: “Yeah, Ulysses Bentley IV?”

Ulysses Bentley IV: “Coach, was it the Tropical Smoothie Café Bowl or was it the Frisco Bowl? I don’t understand.”

Sonny Dykes: “Son, it was called the Tropical Smoothie Café Frisco Bowl.”

Ulysses Bentley IV: “You’ll forgive me, Coach. But the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl isn’t called the the Famous Idaho Potato Boise Bowl. If you catch my drift.”

Cobe Bryant: “And for that matter, the Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl isn’t called the Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Tampa Bay Bowl.”

Alex Sickafoose: “Coach?”

Sonny Dykes: “Go ahead, Alex Sickafoose.”

Alex Sickafoose: “Coach, what’s a Gasparilla?”

Sonny Dykes:Who, son. Gasparilla is a who. He’s a mythical pirate by the name of José Gaspar, aka Gasparilla. He supposedly — now, look! It doesn’t matter who Gasparilla is! Point is, the Tropical Smoothie Café Frisco Bowl has been canceled on account of all you guys with COVID. I’m sorry. Season’s over.”

Shabazz Dotson: [raises hand]

Sonny Dykes: “Yes, Shabazz Dotson?”

Shabazz Dotson: “Do you think the Morning News is going to hire someone to replace Mike Wilson?”

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